For the second day in a row, I'm wearing The Worst Pants Ever. When I went shopping, I first surveyed what I had in the closet. Two pair of khakis, a couple pair of cargo pants (ahem, looks like those are a no-go here), and a pair of black pants.
Sweet, I thought. I tend to wear mostly blacks and whites, with some khakis and reds in the mix, flavored to taste. So when I went shopping this past weekend, I didn't pick up any black pants.
These things? Are total fattie pants. First off, they're too long by a good four inches. My ankles look like they're covered in leg warmers. Then, they've got pleats. Wha? I thought pleats died a terrible death years ago? How the hell did they end up on my pants? And why do they flare out so far, making my crotchal area look like it's got it's own separate spare tire? Seriously, with the belt on, I've got my stomach pooch, then the belt, then the crotch pooch. I look like the Goodyear Tire mascot. Or an asshole. Or maybe both.
The waist of these pants have to be what, a 44? I don't know. It's out of control. They're falling off me! And the belt is the same story, but it's the only belt that sort of semi-fits, and doesn't look like someone would wear it to an Iron Madien concert. The lesson here? I need new belts.
So they're too long, too loose, too pleaty and too awful.
The worst part is, as much as I do enjoy encountering signs of my weight loss like these pants or whatever, I caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror that's in our bathroom. I'm still so fucking big. Seriously, I've changed so much over these last 4-5 months as a person. I'd like my body to catch up.
I had once contemplated getting bariatric surgery and have my stomach tied off as a means to an end, but decided not to because 1) I wanted to do it myself and thought that the surgery was a cheap and weak method to lose the weight. Doing this via hard work builds character and changes a person in more ways than just the waistline. And 2) I feared that if I couldn't change my behavior, then I'd end up popping the band like I did my coat's button, and if you go the surgery route and eff that up, where do you go next? But I wonder if at this point it's not the worst idea. I feel like I'm now prepared to have the proper lifestyle to go with my surgery, and keep the weight off.
It just strikes me that a real man wouldn't opt for surgery. He'd work hard. Not for one or two weeks or months, but for as long as it took.
Goddamn this is taking awhile.