It's come to my attention...

...That I'm neglecting things.

It's amazing to me just how fast I can spin out of control. Just days prior to Thanksgiving I was at my lowest weight since starting this thing. Then I go away for an extended weekend, throw my routine out the window and *poof*, everything goes to shit.

And it's stayed shit.

Dan the Workout Partner has dumped me. He said that it was so he could ride the new commuter train into work downtown rather than drive, which will save money. He will also be going to the gym in his building now. And I'm sure that that's true, but when I asked him point-blank if my spotty attendance record the past month was a factor, he stammered and grew red in the face. Yep. So I've lost that, which will be an issue for me.

I got on the scale this morning for the first time in awhile. 263.3. That's up 16 pounds since Thanksgiving. Sixteen. And the New Years celebrations have yet to occur.

Dammit.

So I went to the gym this morning. No Dan. Oh well.

It's my hope that at least 6 pounds is fake. But I'm sure I've earned 10 of those hateful fuckers. So... damn. I'm a holiday statistic.

And I'm back.

Positive changes bring positive changes

Oh my...

So yesterday morning I had done my elliptical for 45 minutes. I ran intervals and had bumped up my level from 15 to 16. I forgot to mention that during the last few minutes of the run I developed a stitch in my side.

Last night I then went to my taekwondo class. With 30 minutes of class left, our instructor had us strap on the sparring gear and began pairing fighters. I ended up having five separate fights - it was an awesome experience, and it's very fun for me to see the blooming confidence I'm getting each time I step in against someone. However, by the fifth fight I was hurting. Instead of bouncing on the balls of my feel, I'd become flat-footed and stationary. And again, the stitch in my side came roaring back. Ugh... not my best sparring match, that's for certain.

Anyway, I got home, took a shower and just felt my body compressing and tightening after the adrenaline had worn off. I started shuffling around a bit. This morning when the alarm went off... oi. My body was so sore. So ragged. So... aged. Not a great feeling. I ended up texting Dan the Workout Partner, letting him know that I'd be missing my scheduled weight-lifting session this morning. I literally couldn't get out of bed, and I'd even taken some Advil prior to laying down.

It's my hope that through the interval training I'm now doing, I'm going to increase my ability to last through these sparring matches. And symbiotically, I'm hoping that these sparring matches will help me to get through the intervals as I'm constantly under that go/stop/go pressure. But right now? Right now I'm just feeling the growing pains of where I'm at.

One other thing... late last week when I went to my blog, I saw something new. The progress meter above the top post wasn't displaying my weight loss any longer. It had switched to an error message, stating that I hadn't logged in for 80 days. Eighty days... I haven't lost a tenth of a pound in 80 days? Holy shit. Think about that. What a commentary on the treading of water I've been doing for the last three months. How very pathetic for a guy who has still consistently gone to the gym to not have shown any progress.

I've tried to look at it from other angles... In those 80 days, my body has reconfigured itself some. I'm now officially wearing XL shirts, out of the XXL. Two weeks ago when The Gal and I were at a mall, I'd gone in thinking I was only going to get one new pair of shoes that were on sale. However, as we went into different stores, I kept trying on shirts. Every time I put on a XL, it fit. Standing in the dressing room, turning and looking at myself, I was a bit overcome; I simply just started buying these new shirts! And honestly, I don't feel guilty about overspending a bit. The feeling that gave me was tremendous. Hard to describe actually, except to say that it was just an awesome gift I received, and one I'd apparently given to myself.

Point being though, the progress bar's error message reminded me that I hadn't weighed in at 247 since some time in July. This past week I made a change and dumped the morning breakfast muffin. By dumping the carbs early, I find that I'm no longer craving more later in the form of cookies from the cafeteria or grabbing a danish when I get my lunch salad. The constant *need* had just disappeared. I still get a latte on the drive into work after the gym, but I still feel satisfied and I'm no longer going crazy. It's a welcome and wonderful change to NOT have food on the brain.

Anyway, just wanted to point out some of the things I'm working on over here.

ps, I weighed in this morning.

247

Wednesday, I think.

Another day, another great trip to the gym for some hard interval cardio on the elliptical. Loving it!

Beyond that, no real pressing issues. No problems personally, no problems at work... I think I'm just going to enjoy this, because inevitably my situation will change. I'd much prefer to spend my time NOT worrying about how my good fortune will change. I'm just going to appreciate it.

:)

Keep on

You'd think by now I'd know that the weekend is my worst enemy, yet there I was, eating at Buffalo Wild Wings, eating at Panakoeken, eating a cheesecake dessert... This is got to stop, but unless I get a plan together, I'm effed. And both this and next weekends I'm not around the house much, so that could really continue to screw me.

Ugh!

Yesterday I did hit the gym in the morning and again in the evening, so yay to that.

250.2

Hey there!

So I just re-read my most recent post, and wanted to give an update - now I set two alarms to ensure I wake up; it's been a phenomenal change. I haven't slept through it once this week - four for four on morning workouts!

Last night The Gal and I joined her dad in going to a lutefisk dinner. Those who don't know what lutefisk is... you're lucky. I only heard it referenced in jokes about Minnesotans, but never had I experienced it before.

And never shall I again.

Blech.

It's supposedly fish (cod) that's been "luted". Don't know what that is, though the stuff comes out jiggling on the platter, like chunks of white jello. Its initial taste is in fact fish, though the texture is much like biting into a phlemmy snot.

Blech!

I was so hungry though, and was 35 miles from home in some church basement where this was going on (1000 people expected btw; I was number 692!), so I had to eat something. I had water. I had potatos. I had rutebega. I had lefsa. I had Swedish Meatballs. I ended up having to push away from the table due to feeling like I was swollen and drunk on carbs. Seriously... And this morning I'm finding that all those carbs eaten without a nice chunk of protein to accompany them has created an imbalance. My body is *screaming* for carbs right now! Cookies, cakes, donuts... I had a muffin for breakfast, but I'm fighting hard to avoid any others for the rest of the day. I feel like I need to OD on protein to bring my levels back to normal.

Also, and this is nutty... I hadn't stepped on the scale since last week. This morning? 255. Again. wtf?!? I think that the heavy lifting I've been doing this week, coupled with carb overload, has me retaining water something fierce. I've had only a bit of water today, but I've peed 4 or 5 times already. C'mon water, get outta here!

Anyway, please... please please please... avoid lutefisk. And carb overloading. Trust me.

Sleeping in Lately...

Man, I feel like a bit of a failure this morning. Today is the second morning in a row that I've missed the gym - so frustrating!

I had gone on Monday and did my cardio, then Tuesday I knocked out some lifting. Yesterday I'd set the alarm, but slept through it - I ended up deciding I'd work from home as I woke up SO LATE. Of course, I logged into the company's intranet and saw that I'd been assigned to attend a mandatory meeting, so suddenly I had to haul off to the office. I guess because I'd slept so late, I couldn't sleep last night and didn't doze off until 12 - normally bedtime is about 10:30. So of course, I seem to have turned off the alarm in my sleep this morning and woke up naturally at 6:30 - right when I'm supposed to meet Dan at the gym. Dammit!

Tomorrow morning Dan and I aren't going to the gym - we're meeting for breakfast to celebrate his 34th birthday instead. Seriously, I CANNOT sleep in and miss it. I already feel like a guilty tool for the last two mornings, and I can't let him down by effing up tomorrow. Grrr... Might be time for some sleeping pills tonight, just to make sure I'm dozing as required. Oh who am I kidding? I hate the idea of pills to regulate me, in any fashion. I've got two different alarms set on my phone now, 15 minutes apart. And I found the most annoying ringtone available to sound when it's time - c'mon me, don't fuck it up!

Tuesday

Looks like I didn't totally eff up this past weekend - I'm still in the 240s this morning. Sweet!

Good God you guys - I dusted off the stove this weekend and actually cooked - cooked! by myself! - I made my mom's white chili. It called for me to dice up 8 cloves of garlic. I don't own a garlic press, and I don't really know exactly what I'm doing in the kitchen. Anyway, point being, it's now Tuesday and my hand STILL stinks like garlic! Never again. Blech.

In other news, I've been mixing up the cardio by doing intervals instead of a flat speed. Frankly, I find it more challenging and engaging, and I'm enjoying it. Rumor has it that there are better "afterburn" effects too, which is that I'll continue to burn calories longer once my workout is done.

Let's see, what else? Oh, Sign #27 that Today Might Not Be a Good Day: After my workout I walked into the showers to find them... not working. Ugh. I'm giving serious consideration to heading over to another fitness location at lunch to scrub up. I feel gross with no shower after a workout!!!

Sign #106 that Today Might Not Be a Good Day: I left my work shoes at home and I'm wearing my freshly-sweated-in gym shoes.

249.5

Things are continuing to improve

I had another great day of watching what I ate, staying on plan (on the krab, according to my man Carlos), and getting a great martial arts workout in, and then a great conversation with The Gal to end the evening. I'm feeling really, really good these days!

I'm starting to think about my goals - where do I want to be in a month? By Christmas? Where do I want to be next year? I haven't formalized it - right now I'm enjoying riding the wave of my recent success and seeing where it takes me, but there's certainly a drive to be in the 230s by the time I see my folks at Thanksgiving next month. Frankly, I think that's an attainable goal, though right now my focus is just getting to 245 and crossing the 90 pounds lost barrier. Perhaps by next Friday? Biggest rule - don't fuck up over the weekend!

248.4

A bit of tough from Mom

Man my neck is sore. Seems that I whip my head around too fast or something when I'm doing the martial arts thing as these sore neck muscles have been a theme as of late. Hopefully my body will just get used to it, but until then it's Advil and Tylenol for me.

At some point either last week or the one prior, I was on the long drive home from work and was on the phone with my mom. When it was my turn to give her some updates, I whined a bit about being stuck at 255 for so long. She asked me what I was doing when I was having success, and I told her that I was counting my calories, but that I felt like that was just a pain in the ass. "Well, maybe one day you'll wake up and decide that counting calories isn't as big a pain as being stuck at 255 is. Then things will change."

I've been counting all last week and so far this week. This morning I'm in the 240s again.

Thanks ma.

So i put my hands up, they're playin' my song

Butterflies fly away...

Oh man - last week I'd really found my mojo and got her working again. So much so that by Friday morning I weighed in at 250.2 - almost back into the 240s, and this time for keeps, right? Well...

Friday The Gal and her sister and I piled into the car to head south to Chicago for a weekend out, visiting another of her sisters. I was a calorie-nazi on Friday. I knew that it would be tough as the dinner was already planned - pizza. So I had a breakfast, counting every calorie. Once on the road, I drank water, then made sure to skip a burger and do a 6" Subway and more water. I left room for two slices of pizza and didn't go over the limit. It was a numerically-perfect day.

Then Saturday came.

The long and short of it is, when I did the add-up, I clocked in at a whopping 5000 calories. Mutha-fuck! Guess that's what a breakfast of Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks and a dinner of Cheesecake Factory will do, especially when bad choices are made along the way. Add in a burrito and a road-burger for the drive home yesterday and I was up 8 fucking pounds when I stepped on the scale last night! Shit. This morning I was 256, and I'm planning on clean-eating for the week so I can get back under control, but damn kids. Your hero took some hits.

Thankfully I hit the shit outta intervals on the elliptical this morning and began the purge. I downloaded that annoying Miley Cyrus song and found that it was perfect for getting my ass in gear - great pace, good groove. I'm not a fan of it, but damn if I didn't wake up with it in my head as I heard that ditty several times over the weekend. Whatever it takes man, right? Noddin my head like yeah... Movin my hips like yeah...