Thursday, February 26, 2009

Sparse Updates

I think I've mentioned it here before, but right now my time at work is crazy busy. We're designing, building and deploying a new ecommerce website at the end of March. As I'm the guy who designs the look and builds the front face of the site, my work needs to be done sooner rather than later so that the back-end developers can get the stuff and run with it. Then it goes to Quality Assurance, and then back to me (and the developers) as there are undoubtedly issues with stuff I've done which aren't revealed until real data is poured into the templates I've built.

We are so busy and under such tight deadlines that we contracted out a portion of the design to an agency. Tuesday we got a first look at what they delivered. Junk. Yesterday we changed direction and I ended up designing those pages, but that means that other things are either being left out of scope for this project, or are going to require nights and weekends. Yuck.

As a result, I'm limited in my blogging time. I sometimes do it either in a morning break or during lunch, but I've been working through both those times and as a result don't post. I've also been staying late, so I can't post in the evenings. And because I'm working late, I've missed a few workouts in the morning. Arrgh!

I just hold onto the notion that I need to do what I can to stay focused and strong, even if life does sometimes get in the way of living.


Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Hey there!

So I'm off to a fairly dubious start on my new confirmed goal of dropping 30 more pounds by June 1. I missed the gym on Wed, Thur and Fri last week, along with yesterday. omg!!! I know I know... When Dan the Workout Partner goes out of town on his business trips, my need to be there on time goes away. I always say to myself that I'll go a little bit later, but that just hasn't happened. Grrr!

In any event, I went today and got a nice sweat going.

This past Saturday I played in a game tournament (I took second place). It was nice in that I saw several people I only see a few times a year. I received many compliments on my weight change, and was able to actually talk about my routine with people. Neat! It's funny - this weight lifting thing has dominated my life for the last 6 months, but I feel like I can't talk about it with anyone, because... c'mon. Look at me. I'm still a behemoth! So I feel like until I look like I'm in shape, weight loss advice and discussing my workouts seems ridiculous to me. I just don't look the part of a guy who goes to the gym often, and as a result I don't talk much about what I'm doing most every morning with other people. But I want to. I want to because it's an important part of my life, and I want to talk tips and changes with others. Soon, I hope.

In other news, I've decided that with everything I've ever really wanted in life, I've always had to make a sacrifice. And knowing that I want to drop this next 30 in three months has cemented that need. So as of today, I'm letting go of my morning super-coffee (white chocolate mocha - 400 calories!) in exchange for green tea, which has none. I'll still get a warm beverage and morning caffeine, but without the heft of the fruffy guy I normally drink. This is an extension of last week's change in breakfast.


Friday, February 20, 2009


I missed posting again yesterday!!! Sorry my fatty peeps, I don't mean to leave this blog behind but there's no time during work to post this week. So don't hold it against me, yeah?

In other news, I'm still moving down. I'll try to post something worth reading later today/this weekend.

One thing though - I've got a new goal I'm moving towards. I'd like to, as of June 1 2009, be down 100 pounds. That's just shy of 30 pounds in 3 months and change. I should be able to do it, provided I stay vigilant.


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Other small changes

My apologies for not getting a post up yesterday - I was rushing when I got home from the gym and between my meetings and my work schedule I was a pretty busy boy yesterday. I have been for a couple weeks now actually. It's good - I'm really enjoying my job and I've gotten into a bit of a groove. Headphones on, uptempo, aggressive music blaring, making it happen.

Today was another new low, though not too exciting of an overall drop. 265.0, which is 0.3 of a pound lower than my previous low, and I've now officially lost 70 pounds in total. Awesome. Heh, I guess it is kind of exciting.

This morning, rather than my usual coffee (400 calorie mocha latte deliciousness) and muffin (another 400), I went with a bottle of soda (220) and a banana (150ish). I tend to load my breakfast with calories and then have a full day to burn them off, going with a sensible lunch and small dinner, but I'm going to see what cutting my breakfast calories in half does. I'll be aware of my moods, my energy levels and my hunger levels today. I guess I'm to the point in my journey where I feel confident enough in myself to experiment a bit more, rather than lock down and say, "this is what I've done, it seems to work okay, I'm not changing." So if it works, great. If it doesn't, okay; we'll make adjustments as necessary.


Monday, February 16, 2009

Bye-bye Resolutioners

The gym this morning was pretty empty. I guess it never did fill up like the quickie articles (blurbs?) in Men's Health or MSN threatened it would, but still there was a perceptible bump up in numbers. That's gone now. The pair of women in their late 50s don't show. The guy wearing one of those official NFL jerseys that cost $200 to every workout hasn't been there in awhile. Those two dudes who wear their construction boots to the weightroom and go in to work without showering are gone too.

Yep - Valentine's Day has come and went, and it looks like most of the New Year's Resolutioners didn't make it. Such is the problem with the Resolution to begin with, I think. There's nothing concrete about it. It's just a number. It's just a day. It's the same with people who, confronted with their need to change say, "I'm planning to start on Monday." That Monday is weak as wet paper, and just about as useless. Setting a date to start doesn't typically work. Neither does saying things like, "I'll start tomorrow, so tonight I'm going to have a blow-out as I can't ever eat this fried chicken/cheeseburger/pizza again!", followed by a total binge. When people do that, they're really affirming that they don't want to give those things up. That they're not ready to.

Don't wait for Monday. Don't have a splurge dinner. Let go of the chains that keep you bound to your unhappiness. Just do it. Just start.


Friday, February 13, 2009

Bad week I guess

Well, yesterday I did well; I hit the gym, I drank my water, I ate my salad... then after work I joined up with some friends for drinks and laughs. I had chicken fingers and bruschetta for dinner, along with four beers.

I didn't bother to weigh in today. I know the deal. No movement/upward movement. That's fine.

Again, I did well this week. Exercised 5 times, ate my chicken salads for lunch, drank loads of water. It was just one of those weeks where I didn't lose. But the key is, I stayed on plan and didn't get discouraged and give up/give in. So there's an important victory in this week that goes far beyond the scale - keep at it. The scale doesn't matter. The number doesn't matter. Getting healthy, being healthy, acting healthy... this is what matters.

So I'm going to keep on keeping on. Hopefully next week I'm rewarded for my continued efforts this week.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Midweek Blues

Not too sure what's going on this week. After last week's 4.5 pound loss, I'm sitting here on Thursday with nothing to show for this week. I had the slight uptick on Monday from the weekend, Tuesday had me at 265.3, yesterday I again clocked in at 265.3, and today I'm at 265.6.

I woke up tired this morning. I'd gone to bed at 10 and woke up at 6, scoring a full eight hours of sleep, but I'm still tired. My face is puffy too. I'm trying to run down the week and figure out my problem, but so far nothing. The only thing is that the other night I had to work late. I didn't get my normal 5:30 dinner, it had to wait until 8:30. I don't much care for eating that late, and to make that matter worse, because I was coming home from work so late I just stopped at McDonalds. I didn't go crazy - two cheeseburgers for $2.14 is all I got, then cracked a bottle of water with it when I got home, so I should have been okay. Actually, it was kind of funny; I'm sitting at home about 20 minutes after eating dinner and I'm suddenly struck in my guts - hard. I literally doubled-over and was clutching my stomach from the pain. I *ran* to the bathroom, and sat down. This happened twice more that night, and then the next morning I was woken up at 5am with a big-time need to go sit again! My apologies for the subject matter, but I think that it's so interesting. Here's a guy who 6 months ago was regularly eating McDonalds for dinner, and now two little cheeseburgers leave him doubled over and shitting for the night! lol... you know how I know I'm going to be thin? I literally can't eat that terrible food anymore. My body just rejects it.

What the hell was I rambling about? Oh yes... this week sucks ass for actual weight-loss scale numbers. I'm trying hard not to allow the scale to decide my happiness for the day, and for the most part I think I'm somewhat successful with that, but when we're on Day 4 and I feel like I'm doing my part of the work and I'm just not getting my results... And that's what it really comes down to. I'm working hard, but I'm not getting those instantly gratifying results. Bah.

In other news, I am seeing a huge difference in the mirror. My body has begun to resemble the beginnings of a sculptor's next piece. I appear to have clay shapes sort of slapped on to me in different areas - my shoulders, my biceps, my forearms, my chest... I can see changes there. I can see how my forearm looks in the mirror, and even when I'm not flexing it how there's now a little line of muscle that's poking out. When I splay my fingers open, then the forearm changes, and when I ball my hand into a fist and flex, it changes again. My calves are experiencing a similar phenomena - there's a nice, heart-shaped bunch of muscle at the top, and then long, lean muscle running up from my ankle. Again, the closer you get to the stomach the less you can see of the muscle, until you're greeted by my rather large gut, but still... changes are there.

Last Friday I wrote, "Things are good and I'm feeling awesome. I wish I could bottle what I'm feeling right now and drink it when I'm down." I'd like to pull a bottle of Last Friday off the shelf right now and take a big swig, maybe get moving in the right direction again. I am however comforted in the fact that this is a long, long journey and frankly any story worth telling has to have the hero trip up and fall along the way to make the success that much better, and that I'm still doing what I need to do in terms of my diet and exercise, so in the end I know that my long-term consistency will win out over my short-term stumbles.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Just want to say hi to everyone today. Nothing worth posting, though I feel like I need to post just to keep my focus. So... uh... drink your water? Lift something heavy several times in a row? Keep your heartrate up for 20+ minutes? Yeah, we'll go with that. Works for me. :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Addendum to my earlier post...

I came home from work and checked - two pair of the jeans Dan gave me were 35s. Only the button-fly was a 36. So I tried again... still not quite. Then I realized something. I realized that the underwear I wear are old. I haven't even thought to buy new ones. They're a 48. They're all bunched up at the top and full of fabric and wrecking the deal. So I got new underwear and tried again.


I look like an asshole with a big muffin-top, but whatever. Give me 10 more pounds, they'll be in my regular rotation. Believe it!

Tuesday Update

Dan the Workout Partner™ called me with great news the other night - he was down to a 34" waist. Even better, he had some 36" and 35" jeans to give to me! Yesterday at the gym he handed me a bag with three pair of jean in them. No lie, I raced home after the workout and tried the first pair on.

They are Gap brand, and they are straight-leg cut. I pulled the first pair of 36s on and up, and found them wanting... yikes. They also had a button-fly, and I just thought - eh, not yet. So I took them off.

When I got home later, I grabbed the lighter shaded pair with the zipper fly. Oh man! I don't know if they're 36 or 35s, but they're too tight on me! Holy hannah. So there's a third pair yet, but I'm not too sure I'm ready for the rejection letter that they're going to hand me. Bottom line? Straight-leg Gap 36s are not Loose-Cut Lucky Brand. And? I have some work to do.

Good thing I've got a solid work ethic. :)


Monday, February 09, 2009

Not a bad weekend!

Hey all,
I'm at work and don't have time for a real post. The best thing I can share with you is that I only picked up 0.6 pounds over the weekend, and that's with chomping down half-a-bag of chips and dip! So yay to that. I hope to be at/under 265 by Wednesday, and clearing that next mini-goal. Work hard everyone!

Friday, February 06, 2009

End of the week

Wow! Today I had a two-pound drop on the scale! Unreal. I have to remember weeks like this one when I'm busting my hump and not seeing any scale movement. It just sometimes goes in bunches like that I guess. Anyway, I'm one pound away from hitting my next goal! Unreal.

Today at the gym I was just housing that weight - the squats and leg presses were so easy! Last night I got over a big hurdle at work. This weekend I'm hanging with my buddy. Things are good and I'm feeling awesome. I wish I could bottle what I'm feeling right now and drink it when I'm down. Or sell it. Of course, I think I can already go and purchase something like this illegally - rumor has it they call it narcotics. But at any rate, I'm really happy right now. :D

Get out there and kick some ass my fatty peeps - set your goal, work towards your goal, reach your goal, set another goal. That's how we do!


Thursday, February 05, 2009

Still moving in a positive direction

Another day passed, another pound lost. This morning finds me at 268.0, and 67 pounds gone. What a wonderful feeling! I'll be at 70 pounds gone by sometime next week at this rate. I've lost a full pound or more these past couple days - I realize that earlier this week it was water retention, but Saturday I'd weighed in at 270.5 before I did any damage, so being down 2.5 pounds from that weigh-in this week is pretty sweet.

I'm still working on going to taekwondo again, though I had stuff going on Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings this week, so I couldn't make it. Tuesday/Thursday is sport tkd training, and sparring. I'm nowhere near ready for that, both physically in my quickness and my cardio shape, and physically in that my chest protector doesn't actually fit me at the moment. Oh the shame... ;) Soon enough though!

I also want to give a shout out to all the commenters who've been helping me roll along on this blog. I didn't start this thing with the intention of gaining a following, it was moreso a way of me to just journal my thoughts in dealing with some of the things that had gotten in the way of me being me. Somewhere along the way you guys and gals have hopped on board and give me support, and I appreciate it.


Wednesday, February 04, 2009


As of this morning, I'm out of the 270s, into the 260s, and have now lost just over 65 pounds!

Obviously my next goal is 265 and a 70 pound loss, though in all honesty I'm actually focused on a slightly bigger next goal, which is getting into the 250s. Once I'm there, I'll have crossed 75 pounds lost and be at the halfway mark of this long journey back. I'm really looking forward to getting there, and I can't wait to share that victory with all of you.

But for today, another mini-goal is crossed off my list and for that I'm quite happy.


Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Under the Weather a Tad

This morning I woke up and my neck felt thick with swollen glands. I had to call in to my workout buddy and cancel, then took several Tylonol and went back to bed. I woke up 90 minutes later and felt somewhat better, but not great. I've gone into work today, but my energy levels are low.


Monday, February 02, 2009

Well that was fun.

So I had one of those weekends. One where every meal was a bad one. Water was off the menu, replaced by soda. Meals were eaten late, and there was too much. Dan the Workout Partner™ sent me a text last night, asking if I was going to be at the gym this morning.

I woke up and didn't want to get out of bed. I'm working off less than 6 hours of sleep today, and while last night I was all vim and vigor in going to the gym, this morning I was just not having it. But it's these days that we have to push ourselves that little bit more. Make it happen in spite of our best efforts to resist. So I went. And somewhere around 12 minutes in on the treadmill, I felt the weekend slip away. I felt re-energized. Ready to go. It's something that happens on quite a few Mondays, the feeling of the weekend slipping off me and me ready to attack another week. I like it.

Do I have to put my weight here today? I hate posting gains... Hmm... well, it is MY blog. I guess I needn't do anything if I don't want to.

Oh eff it. 273.2 (mostly water-weight, I swear!!!) :D

Where I've Been and Where I'm Going