Friday, November 07, 2008

Prison cells of our own making

Sweet - today's my last day at the current job! Last night I went out for dinner and drinks with a pair of my friends, one I'd not seen in probably 3 years. It was great to see him again. And then he invited another buddy to join us and didn't tell me, so when that guy walked through the door? I about hit the floor.

When I started getting big, I pulled away from my social life. I didn't realize it at the time, but I'd begun to build an invisible prison cell for myself. Where I used to have plans every Thurs, Fri and Saturday night, suddenly I stopped calling people. Stopped taking people's calls. I said things like, "hey, I'm not feeling well tonight," or "I've got something else going on" when in reality I just didn't want to go. I didn't want to be seen. And that sort of self-destructive behavior only beget more and more of the same old. Pretty soon I'd become a hermit, cloistered away from people, hiding in a dark room with the remote control and a pizza. Ugg!

So lately I've been going out. Just about every night for the past couple weeks. And tonight I'm going out again, for a little gathering of co-workers present and past to say goodbye. And I intend to have fun! No doubt I'll pay for it in the morning, but whatever. It's worth it. I'm still bigger now than when I stopped being social, but I'm moving in the right direction. I've let myself out of the prison. :)

2 comments:

john - from fat to fit said...

Good for you! Just be careful, I've found that if I binge too much when going out it can take weeks to recover. We need to find ways to be social without gorging on food and drink.

Thanks for linking me up, I added you to my blogroll too. Always good to find another guy on the same weight loss journey.

Biffster said...

This is Biffster from http://weightjournal.com. I can so totally relate to hiding away. I was never very social anyway, but the more I weigh, the less I like to go out and do anything with people. I am trying to break myself of that habit, but it is very hard to go against what I've been doing for years and years.

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