Prison cells of our own making

Sweet - today's my last day at the current job! Last night I went out for dinner and drinks with a pair of my friends, one I'd not seen in probably 3 years. It was great to see him again. And then he invited another buddy to join us and didn't tell me, so when that guy walked through the door? I about hit the floor.

When I started getting big, I pulled away from my social life. I didn't realize it at the time, but I'd begun to build an invisible prison cell for myself. Where I used to have plans every Thurs, Fri and Saturday night, suddenly I stopped calling people. Stopped taking people's calls. I said things like, "hey, I'm not feeling well tonight," or "I've got something else going on" when in reality I just didn't want to go. I didn't want to be seen. And that sort of self-destructive behavior only beget more and more of the same old. Pretty soon I'd become a hermit, cloistered away from people, hiding in a dark room with the remote control and a pizza. Ugg!

So lately I've been going out. Just about every night for the past couple weeks. And tonight I'm going out again, for a little gathering of co-workers present and past to say goodbye. And I intend to have fun! No doubt I'll pay for it in the morning, but whatever. It's worth it. I'm still bigger now than when I stopped being social, but I'm moving in the right direction. I've let myself out of the prison. :)