I hate this.

I lost a friend today. She was once my best friend, and now she doesn't want me to contact her anymore. She says that it's too hard to speak with me. That she needs to move on and can't with me in her life, in any capacity.

I understand her position. So I said goodbye.

I have so few friends. Real, true, tight-knit friends. The ones I'd be more honest with than I sometimes am with myself. She was one of them. She's gone now.

For the first time in years I'm sitting here, crying.

I hate this.