Closet Pants IV

Much like Hollywood, I seem to be churning out inferior sequels to an exciting original post. Eh, what are you going to do, nobody's paying me to be original. :)

So today I'm leaving work. It's snowing out. I've lived my whole life in the great state of Minnesota, and yet I don't have a snow brush/ice scraper for my car. Idiot. Moreover, I decide to just fire up the car and go, instead of waiting for it to warm up, for the front/rear defrosters to kick in. It was fine at first, but as the defroster started I was suddenly greeted by a thick fog on my windshield. It was further compounded by the blowing snow off my hood which hit the windshield and amped up the fogging. And I'm doing 25 with my window rolled down and my head sticking out of it, so I don't bury my car into someone's side panels. That's when I get the bright idea - let's jump on the highway and try to not die and go buy some new Closet Pants!!! :D

I haven't had an official pair of too-big Closet Pants since I last got some Lucky 38s, I'd run out of "skinny" (lol!) pants. I guess I just haven't had that feeling of going for something like that in awhile.

So I fought the weather and got to the store, and once inside went to the rack. I grabbed another pair of Luckys, this time a 36 Regular. Just for fun, I bought myself a 2x button-up as well. It's been awhile and I don't seem to have any nice button-ups in a 2x in the closet.

I just got home and put down the bag. I pulled out the pants. Lots of apprehension here. Thoughts just racing in my mind. I know that as I continue to lose, each next pair of Closet Pants will become harder and harder to fit into. The distance and work to go from 46 to 44? Easy. A couple weeks of real work and eating right. By the time I'm trying to get into 38s, it had become a real grind. I remember putting on those 38s for the first time - no dice. They didn't get worn for two weeks afterward. But man did they motivate me. I *had* to get into a thirty-something waist. I just *had* to, you know? And so it was with today's 36s. It had been two months since getting into a lower waist. How long would the 36s take?

I plucked the tags off the jeans, peeled the sticker with the big 36 REGULAR off the leg, turned and headed for the bathroom and its mirror. I put my right leg through the leg of the jean. Surprisingly, I didn't get any resistance. No tightness around the thigh. I put my left leg through. Again, No problem. I pulled them up over my butt, grabbed the button with my right hand, the button hole with my left and got ready to hold my breath.

They buttoned.

No fighting. No big suck-in. No problems. I honestly thought that there was something wrong. I pulled at the waistband, wondering if they were some sort of stretchy something or another. Nope. I looked at myself in the mirror. Sure, the stomach still hung over the waistband (that'll take a while to lose), but the pants were fine. Better than fine in fact. It's weird - I've had so much extra room in the hamstrings and thighs and crotch of my recent pairs of pants, I've forgotten how pants are supposed to fit. Don't get me wrong, I'm still 281 pounds of hugeness, but my god, these things don't look like I could billow out the extra fabric and glide from treetop to treetop like some flying squirrel. They look... normal. Kind of. They improve the way I look. They've reduced my silhouette.

I tried on the 2x shirt too, just for fun. It buttoned up. When I *totally* relaxed you could still clearly see the outline of my gut, and when tucked into the jeans I looked as though my torso was made of thick, heavy marshmallows, but seriously - I'm like two weeks away from having that shirt be a viable option. No kidding.

I still had a 3x shirt in the closet that didn't fit when I bought it. It's not American, so it's cut isn't as generous as the stuff Casual Male XL sells apparently (their stuff seems to be cut so huge - I think that their 3x is like a "normal" 4x). It fit. It effing fit! Again, when tucked into these 36 jeans the button-up looked a bit ridiculous, but I'll be damned if I can't wear it on casual Fridays where tucking in isn't mandatory.

I guess it's time to go buy a pair of 34s and get ready for Closet Pants V!