Back from the honeymoon

Jamaica was beautiful! The wife and I had a wonderful time of it. Now we're back, and it's business time (though not business as usual!)

I put on a couple pounds while I was gone. Nothing too major -- I was actually expecting much worse. But with Weight Watchers and some light exercise I hope to keep dumping pounds and get into the 280s soon enough.

The wife and I are talking about morning workouts. Those have worked for me in the past. So has having a work out partner. This could be good. I'll be working to make something positive happen there.

Other than that, I'm still trying to adjust to being home again, and sharing my home with my wife. Things will be a bit weird for the next couple months, so it's going to be very important to keep the weight loss in front of my mind.

296.1

Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today.

Today is it -- wedding bells ring four hours from now!

I weighed in on my home scale, then went to WW and weighed in there. Down another 2.6 for a total of 6 pounds (and a star sticker). Pretty good as last night was the Groom's Dinner and I had a couple cocktails, some mashed potatos AND bread pudding for dessert. Yikes!

294.4

"And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove..."

My 2nd Weigh-In, or maybe the 1st

I guess it's the second one at Weight Watchers -- my first came in at 301.6, though this is sort of my first post-intro weigh in, so maybe it's my first one. I feel like I'm making this harder than it needs to be. I'll go with 2nd.

Point being, I was down 3.5lbs since my first visit to WW. Not bad. I'm not sure what the variance is between my scale and theirs (except my birthday suit); I'll be honest, I was expecting 5 pounds. 3.5 is nice and all, but I can do better.

After that weigh-in, I then went to rendezvous with some friends for my bachelor party. I didn't do great, though rules were totally suspended that night so I guess it's sort of okay. Maybe? Not sure. I'm kind of making this up as I go.

I think I failed to mention my surgery. I had a visit to the lovely Mayo Clinic in beautiful downtown Rochester, MN. I won't bother with the details, but they worked on my exhaust vent and I can't do much running (or walking or sitting for that matter). So I'm looking forward to being whole again and getting out there for a light jog. Soon I hope!

If this is one day at a time, I'm going to be Snider

Or was it Schnider? I can't remember. Anyway, Thursday nights are my game nights, when I go hang out with friends and drink and eat to excess. Last night I managed to stay within my points (barely!) and as a reward, the scale gods have given me another 1lb loss. I'll take it, though I have to admit, I found myself thinking about points and calories and food and sandwiches and cocktails and soda and and and...

That's my biggest concern, and one of the truths I've discovered and wrestled with for several years: I will ALWAYS have to think about this stuff. Always. It'll never stop, because when I stop thinking about it, I stop being in control. I don't have an auto-pilot in my brain/body - or if I do, it's set to barrel-roll the plane before stalling it out and crashing into a mountain.

Think think think.

295.6

Looks like it's working, if ever so slightly

I'm now a week and a half through Weight Watchers. My official first weigh-in there was 301.6. Today, unofficially on my scale, I was 296.6, good for a 5lb loss. I wasn't able to go check in last weekend as I had out-of-town visitors (and because we went and got KFC for dinner -- explosion!). This weekend won't be any easier as my friends and I will be having fun during my bachelor party, and the weekend after that is the wedding and the weekend after that I'll be in frickin Jamaica!!!!

So we'll see how things work out. I'm not expecting huge success as this seems to be the worst time to join WW, yet there's also no time like the present, so I didn't want to delay. I'm tracking and thinking, and that's all for the good.

296.6

The more things don't change, the more they stay the same

Today I have engagement photos with the gal. I've known it was coming for some time, and lost no weight for it. In fact, I feel like sometimes I was eating out of spite for these pictures.

Last night I went to get an outfit for the photo session. I had to go to a Big and Tall shop. They never put their shit on sale, so I payed through the nose for an outfit I don't even like that much. Being fat is so limiting.

The gal has been on Weight Watchers for the past month and change. Apparently she'd gone to a dress fitting and things were tight. In the time she's been on the program, she's lost like 14 pounds. Amazing. So this morning I signed up for WW myself. I'm eager to go with her. To have an accountability partner. I work best with a buddy, so I'm thrilled she's going to come with me. Or more likely, she's probably thrilled I'm going to go with her.

299.9 (fuck me!)

Funny how fast I shit the bed

Three-oh-one and two workouts since my last post. There are lessons here. Use my failure and learn them.

Day... uh... Hmm.

So I was right -- I didn't work out on Thursday. Then Friday came and went. And Saturday. And Sunday. And until last night I didn't even think about my commitment to myself.

Not good.

I've also put on 5 pounds in 4 days. Water-weight? Probably. Had foods that were high in sodium. But damn.

So I keep blogging. Minimize the "time off" between posts. Become more consistent. Incrementally improve.

This is a process, I'm not a robot. But I can do better and need to gain stronger focus.

Day 4

Yesterday was going so well too. I'd had a shake for breakfast. A chicken salad wrap at lunch (and a cookie - suck it). Then on my way home, disaster. My rear tire literally shredded apart while I was doing 70mph on the highway. I got the car over and fished out the donut spare, installing it twice - did you know that you can put that SOB on backwards? Now you do, and as of last night, I learned it too.

Sitting along the highway, changing that tire twice, pouring sweat (getting those lugnuts really tight with my hands takes fucking effort kids) and covered in grease, I'd had it. I'm a long-distance commuter, and the days I go into the office I've got an 85 mile drive. I'd only gone 15 miles when the blowout occurred, and now it's already 7pm. I'm tired, hungry and pissed off. Not the best state of mind to make good decisions.

You know where this is going, right? Because I saw the blinking lights of a Subway, looking like an oasis in my time of need and I knew where it was going. 12" meatball, a pair of cookies and no workout when I got home at 8:15... I was over my plan by 590 calories and didn't go for my run or lift any weights. This morning I was up 2 pounds over yesterday. Of course I was. lol! Ah man...

I'm glad that I still recorded my calories and I'm glad I'm writing about it. Puts my actions into focus and not in denial. No workout planned for today, just drinking my water.

298.6

Day 3

I really wanted to get to the gym early this morning. Set the alarm for 5:15. Yeah... no chance. I'm just not a morning person. I can stay up until 5am as a late night, but I just can't get up at 5am to start my day.

Oh well, I'll just go after work tonight. As long as I go, right? I'll be back later to record my workout and my eating. Tomorrow I'm planning on a no-workout day, so I won't worry that I won't be at the gym - it's not a skip, it's a planned miss, as all Thursdays will be for me.

296.8

Day 2

I'm so glad I went to the gym last night. Not because I had a great workout - I didn't. I actually only lasted 20 minutes and changes on the elliptical. I make no excuses for not getting the regular 45 minutes knocked out, but clearly workouts at 11pm are not when I'm full of energy. But I'm glad I went, just to work on forming that habit. To not allow myself to slip.

Today I'm working on counting my calories. I'd like to get to 1600 calories a day, though rather than dive into it in one day, I'm going to step down slowly, over the course of a week. To achieve this, I'm going to pick up some meal replacement shakes. I'm also going to track calories daily.

For breakfast today, I went to Caribou Coffee (it's like Starbucks for those of you not in the midwest) where I used more of a gift-card that FutureInLaws gave me. One medium Mint Condition with skim milk and white chocolate and one apple fritter. Hitting the nutrition link on the site and plugging in the values of my breakfast, I see that I'm already at 1030. Yikes.

That means I'm going to have a 600-700 calorie lunch, then have a protein shake for dinner. Plan the work, then work the plan.

I'm feeling good right now. In control. It's nice.

297.9

Edit @ 8:35pm
Just got back from the gym, where I did 45 minutes on the elliptical, got 3.89 miles on lvl 13 and I feel solid. I stopped off at GNC prior to the run for supplies, and just had my final meal, a meal replacement shake.

I tracked all my calories for the day and came in at 2189. Imagine if I had my typical 1000+ calorie dinner! Jesus. Step one, track. Step two, look for places to eliminate: coffee/pastery in the morning. I'll need to swap that for some fruit and water, maybe a diet soda for caffeine until I ween myself off that (yeah right).

Anyway, short-term this is starting to come together.

One More Time

I've got that song by Daft Punk in my head.

Well, today marks the two-month countdown until my wedding. Scary. Especially as I weighed in and was at 299 and change this morning. But not three bills (like it matters, I've already seen it previous weeks).

For whatever reason, I haven't been able to get my shit together. So now I have to sprint on this marathon instead of grinding it out. What does that mean? Not sure exactly. Hit the gym on the daily. Of course, it's already 10pm and I've yet to go. Shit.

I do like pressure. I can't ever manufacture it. I always know real from fake, you know? Can't hype myself up. I understand why athletes like having 'bulletin board material', as it makes getting hyped up easier. That external pressure.

Anyway, I'd like to dump thirty in two months. Is that even possible? No clue. But if it *is* going to happen, then I need to be doing everything in my power. Running. Lifting weight. Eating well. And blogging.

Whether I lose weight or not, the wedding is coming. I'd like to enjoy the shit out of it, you know?

By the way, FutureWife and I had our first dance lesson tonight. It was okay (though I was irritated that the class instructor insisted on the women switching every dance step -- too many partnerless ladies show up, and with only three lessons left in the package we bought, is it rude of me to want to practice with FutureWife exclusively?

By the way-way, I sweat like a sonofabitch during dancing. Dancing y'all.


edit at 11:27pm
why yes, I did just get home from the gym. Sprint, bitches.

I'm Mr. Glass

I am sick. This is the 2nd straight Monday. If you're doing the math, that's 8 straight days. Eight straight fucking days for one fucking cold.

I hate being sick. It's a miserable experience, and I am just weak and suceptible when it comes around. A cold that a normal person will shake off in two days will stick with me for two weeks.

Anyway, I didn't work out once last week.

292.3

ru-roh

Almost missed my daily blogging. But much like today's exercise, I was able to sneak it in. Of course, after my 3.5 miles, I came home to Chipotle. I swear to god, I'll never get where I want to be, eating what I want to eat.

294.4

Last night after work I hit the gym and pushed 45 minutes on the elliptical. Near the end the song started really going and I found myself sprinting along to it. Of course, my enthusiasm was quickly rewarded with a punishing stitch to my side, but settling down for the last two minutes of the run got rid of it soon enough.

You know, I know I'm currently in trouble as my belt buckle has been digging into my stomach when I'm sitting. Ain't no denying that. And damn, that shit hurts.

294.0

Yep, I blew it.

A bad Thursday, a worse Friday and a straight-up awful Saturday sees a Monday weigh in up six pounds over last week's best. I'm such an idiot! lol -- The only difference is that this time, I'm going to immediately blog the failure, then look to correct it this afternoon by hitting the gym.

294.4

Nope

Yesterday I didn't do as well as I should have. The morning went well with a powerbar breakfast, but for lunch I hit the cafeteria and grabbed a chicken quesadilla and some fries. Then at dinnertime I had a Shamrock Shake and two double cheeseburgers as I was on the road. Could have made better choices there, that's for certain.

Additionally, I didn't exercise yesterday, as planned. Damn do I hate seeing the salt/grease gain though. It's just... it's very frustrating. Very.

292.4

Another decent weigh-in

This morning I hit the scale and got another pound-and-a-half off. Solid. Just working this water out of my system.

Today is Thursday, which is my typical off-day for workouts. I'm going out with friends, so this'll be my first official test of the new deal. A little concerned, but I hope to keep my goals in the forefront of my mind and not my potential failures.

288.4

Good run

I felt wobbly. A bit unstable. Yesterday I'd done 45 minutes, and it's been eons since I've done back-to-backs of this calibur. That said... wow. I'm sitting here, dripping sweat all over my chair. Just soaked. Another big 45 minute elliptical run.

I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it. I was hurting from the first step, feeling yesterday's run. I took my first peek at the clock only 13 minutes in. By minute 18 I was starting at the clock. I wanted to stop at 20 minutes, and again at 30. By minute 35, I knew I could do it. That I could tough it out. And I did.

Today I'm not a quitter.

Water Weight Loss

Last night I banged out 45 minutes on the elliptical. I made it 3.89 miles, and I used to be able to get over 4, so there's some nice room to improve there.

This morning when I stepped on the scale, I was at 289.9; that's a loss of 3.5 pounds. Obvious that's gotta be water weight, right? But still... what a nice feeling. When I hit the 290s, my world sort of got rocked. In fact, one night I saw 299 on the scale. If I were a big pussy I probably would have started crying at that, but instead I just got mad. Still am. I'm pissed that I've wasted time and my previous weightloss on gettinig to where I am now.

I've ordered some new running shoes (my current ones are ripped from my weight pounding on them), and they'll be at my place when I get home. I'm really looking forward to taking them out tonight.

289.9

Gotta Write, Even if it's Worthless

I want to tell myself that the countdown is on. That now I begin in earnest. Yet at the same time, I feel like I've been doing that on-again off-again dance for some time now, and that there's no value in that statement anymore. And as crappy as that is, I'm afraid it's true.

The issue I have is that while I feel that my words hold no water, I also recognize that when I blog I do better. So I need to write, even if the value of what I say isn't high right now. I guess I'll just have to earn that back through consistency and success.

293.4

A cold.

Last Tuesday I caught a cold. Normally, this isn't a big deal. However, with me and sickness, things are always a pain. I'm still sniffling today. Seven days. Seven!

Tuesday night I went for a 40 minute walk on the treadmill. I've read enough that says it's okay to exercise when the sick is from the neck-up. As the cold was all in my nose, I thought that was okay. Now though, the cold has relocated to my chest. I'm coughing up phlegm, which while gross is also pretty sweet as it means things are just about done, but damn. I hate being sick, you know?

Yesterday I went in for a tux measurement. Not the most exciting thing to do when I'm as big as I am.

294.4

Well shit.

I didn't even realize it had been a month and a half, though this 10lb gain sure set me straight.

296.6

Still making it happen

Last night I got to the gym and was able to get some deadlifts, rows and squats in, then I ran for 30 minutes on the elliptical. I was soaking wet when finished!

While running I watched Throwdown with Bobby Flay from Food Network. He and a family from CA/NV were competing on omelets. They looked so delicious! I think I want to cook. Not professionally or anything, but it's an area that I'm really really bad at, and I think it might be kind of fun to be able to bust out a well-made omelet or some chicken or something. Man was that random.

286.0

Mornings are tough in the winter

My room is just so frozen in the morning, all I want to do is stay in bed. Ugh.

The last couple weeks I haven't been sleeping well, but it appears that that is over and done with, so yay. I love being able to easily sleep!

Last night I had a great day of counting calories and getting to the gym. The work continues (as does the daily postings, even if they're a bit crappy at the moment).

287.6

Tuesday, Frozen Tuesday

Last night when I finally got home (thanks snow, it took 2 hours to get home last night), I immediately hopped on the scale. I was excited to see how drinking water all day, having a small breakfast and a salad for lunch would be reflected on the scale, especially as I'd spiked back up to 290 yesterday morning. Well shit -- the scale read 291.6 when I stepped onto it. Frowny-face.

I continued to hit the gym (though I should admit that while I did go Sunday night, it was a poor effort) last night, and did some lifting (squats, rows, dumbell presses), then did 30 minutes on the elliptical, going up from lvl12 to lvl13.

This morning I'm down again. I need to continue to fall, then to maintain through the weekend if I'm to hit my goal of being in the 270s come February 1st.

288.6

New Year's Hangover Holdover

One thing I clearly forgot in this weight-loss effort is what weekends and special days do to the program. (Speaking of programs, remember when that's what computers ran? When did they become apps? I blame Apple.) This past was a triple-doozy: New Year's Eve, full of a nice dinner and cocktails and homemade carmel corn, the fiancee's birthday on New Year's Day with a pizza dinner, cake and more cocktails, and the general weekend malaise, which included a trip to Chipotle for dinner last night.

I woke up bloated and hungry.

I'm working hard to repair the damage. I think it's time to formulate a goal to work towards. I've decided that what I'd like to do is drop between 10 and 15 pounds this January. Ideally I'll be out of the 280s and somewhere in the high to mid 270s. That's the short-term goal I'm aiming for, and I think that while the first key is solid weeks and the second key is consistent gym time, the third key will be strong weekends. It's something I've never been much good at, but now it's an actual impediment.

290.0