Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Time to shut it down?

This weekend I mentioned that I was considering scrapping this blog to The Gal. Not that I was looking to scrap my workouts or anything like that, but the reality is that I used to write more personal entries here and I don't any more. These entries now tend to just be a quickie update. No thought, no effort. Not a real "journal" as it used to be. The thing is, she reads it, my parents read it, friends read it... I don't feel like I can be totally honest here anymore, because rather than being an outlet for myself, this blog has instead turned into a bit of a fishbowl. I can't write about my failures as that now only sparks conversations or looks or even worse, my guilt projected onto these people.

I don't know. I think I may just start up a different blog under a different name or something, and get it back to being just my little thing. Not something that I want to share with my friends. Just something where I can get things out again, to not bottle up my thoughts and feelings, wary that some hyperbolic or silly statement will bring about cocked eyebrows.

I guess sometimes I feel like I let these people I interact with in real life into my personal thoughts, but that street doesn't run both ways. Bottom line: I don't write here anymore, even though I want to.

I won't be making a decision immediately; I'm going to spend a week or two ruminating over the idea of a change I guess. If I do turn this off, I'll certainly get back into contact with my blog pals - I'd feel bad to lose all these little relationships I've built over the past 18 months or so! Hmm...

In other news, I knocked out a great little lunch session today, getting 3 miles in 30 minutes under my feet. Tonight I'll be headed to martial arts as well, so I should be doing well.

29 comments:

Ripx180 said...

Keep us posted and I totally get where your coming from. I have kept the majority of people in my real life away from my blog. I have noticed that your posts have seemed somewhat d-nutted for a while ;).

Graciela said...

I just started following your blog, and now you are talking about quitting??? Just kidding.

Now, I totally relate to you post. I have kept my post scrupulously away from anyone I know. I don't mention it to anyone, and my own hub doesn't even know about it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to be honest about my feelings, which is really what my blog is. It's like free therapy.

The bottom line is you need to do a blog for you! Whatever helps you in your journey.

Katie J said...

I hear ya man! I have read your blog since I started mine a year ago but I don't think I have ever commented.

If I had it do over again, I think I would have my blog be anonymous so that I could fly my freak flag (so to speak) but it is what it is.

You have to do what is best for you! Best of luck on whatever decision you make.

BryGuy said...

I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm lucky enough that I have little to no audience being represent by my family/friends..... who am I kidding... I don't even have an audience, ha.

Your blog needs to be what you need it to be, and if it's being limited by exposure to your family & friends, then maybe a move is in order.

Just make sure you keep everyone on the know.

Daisy said...

I so totally get what you are saying. Let us know.

Fat Daddy said...

I hope you let some of us know where you emerge. My blog recently was discovered too, and it has left me feeling censored. I can relate some for sure.

'Drea said...

I think people will cock their eyebrows over something eventually and, if they can't handle the truth, they shouldn't read your blog...

Carrie said...

Wanna know an interesting thing? While I may mention to people I know that I have a blog, I don't ever give out the web addy. I don't know why, but we feel as though we need to keep each other at "arms length," and even though our readers are real people (and becoming real friends), they feel more "safe." I dunno why! I believe it's what you talk about: feeling as though I can't talk about my failures. It's like the teen who always talks depressing in their Facebook posts, but isn't really all that depressed or doesn't give off the impression of being depressed in real life. The people who only interact with him/her on-line will think he/she needs help, while the people who interact in real life may think that he/she is fine, but the person who interacts with him/her on both may always have the thought in the back of their head and wonder. And that may lead to some rather uncomfortable conversations (which the person may or may not need to have).

Ah well, if you decide to move, please keep me in the loop!

Andrew is getting fit said...

I know exactly what you mean. There are a lot of areas I can't talk about anymore because work folks, parents, friends etc. all read my blog. I still find it useful though.

screwdestiny said...

Yeah, I'm glad that only one person I know in real life reads my blog. It would be weird having everyone I know read it. Anyway, I'll follow you on your new blog if that's what you choose to do. :)

antgirl said...

I can relate. It's easier to be honest when you think family and friends are not reading.

PrettyWoman said...

Hey, I hear ya on it being uncomfortable for people you know in real life to be reading your blog. It can be really intimidating. I have a lot of IRL friends who read, family, the teachers at my children's school, etc. I just let it go. But I would be lying if I said I didnt think twice about what I put there every now and then. If you move make sure you send me a link :)

Peace!

--Ann

BlueRaspberry said...

There is a whole bundle of freedom in Anonymity. If I wasn't free to say exactly what I needed to on here, without fear that someone I knew would stumble upon 'me' or that those I hold dear knew where to read my innermost - lets face it they figure in it a tad, then I would see little point in being here. I vote you go awol and set up another blog - but let those of us that are not kith and kin, or your boss or co-workers in on the swap so that we can read what ya gotta say....:)

BR.

Coley said...

I completely see where you are coming from and agree. I don't want people in my personal life reading it either - because I want to be open and not have to worry about them wanting to bring it up in conversation - just because I put it out there in the public, doesnt mean I want it to be public to all those around me - I can share how I want, under my conditions, not someone elses.

Of course I hope if you relocate, you'll tell us, but I suppose that would defeat the point.

Just know I totally understand, we all do! Recently a woman at my weight loss center found my blog and commented - I was not happy...

Ron said...

Definately know how you feel, as far as I know, my family and freinds have not found my blog, and I do like the blog freindships I have created here.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Hard to be open and honest in a fishbowl, dude. I totally support you relaunching your blog in a new spot, especially if it means you'll dig deeper into this journey...

Good luck!

Lyn said...

Oh I hear that, about the fishbowl. That is exactly why I blog anonymously. No one in my real life even KNOWS about my blog. It's lovely :)

Hope to spot you around again, sometime.

Tay said...

Have you thought of using a handwritten journal? Those work for privacy, and you can write whatever you want in them without fear of judgment.

I hope you can find an outlet that works for you. It's hard to want to blog, but can't say all you need to say because somebody you know might read it and decide it makes great conversation at a family dinner.

Frank Dobner said...

I have not a chance to read your blog until, and I wish I had gotten here sooner. I still wonder about some of the things that I write on the web can become "in person" issues.

Nontheless, you are fearless. Nobody can really hurt you or me, unless we let them.

Thanks for the honesty. I appreciate it.

bbubblyb said...

I've kept my blog to myself too. It is my place to talk openly about anything and I would hate to lose that. I would definitely start a new one if you feel it would be a good outlet for you.

Kathleen said...

I definitely have more of an issue with people I know reading my blog. It creates a little bit of self-censorship. My blog was more interesting before a bunch of my friends started reading it. So I understand.

anne h said...

On the other hand, people I know read my blog, and it KEEPS me honest. Anything you decide will be just right.

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Rob Dyess said...

I get it. I am a brand new reader, but I would hate to think that you are going away. I mean... I just found you.

I have mixed feelings on this. First, my blog keeps me honest. Second, I am concerned about people reading my innermost thoughts and feelings, but you know what... if they judge me, F 'em... they aren't worth my time or effort anyway.

Hope you land on your feet somewhere... and I hope I can find you again.

Check my blog...you can comment there if you want.....

www.weighdownsouth.com

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Adelante4 said...

I wouldn't quit if I were you. You have some great posts that will really inspire people who want to lose weight. Keep going!

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