Tuesday, March 03, 2009


I'm a big time believer in finding balance in my life. I don't overdo work and bring it home. I don't have personal issues that I bring into work. I don't let stress derail my fun, and I don't let my fun get in the way of my efforts. I do what I'm doing when I'm doing it, but when that time is over, I let go.

The month of February I've been out of balance.

:ast week I lost a grand total of bupkis. Truth is, I haven't lost since the first or second week of February. Checking back, I've been at 265 since Feb 10! What a total waste of a month. Kind of depressing actually. The first question I'm asking myself is, "why?" Why didn't I lose more? And why, when I was in the midst of my 265ness, did I not notice more? Push harder? What's going on here? Over the course of the month I went from 270 on Jan 31 to 265 on Feb 28. Makes me feel a little foolish.

Sometimes I remind myself to find the positive in the situation, but right now I don't want to look for that. Finding positives in a wasted month won't get me closer to my goal. Exercising, eating, blogging, talking to others, drinking my water, getting enough rest... Those are my main keys to success.

The reality is, it's the stress of the workplace that's throwing me off. The big effort should wrap up for me come Friday (though the plan is for it to bleed into the weekend too... blech!) but it's currently hurting me. I'm not getting as restful sleep - I toss and turn a bit more. I'm waking up tired. I'm also staying later than I'd care to, and that's throwing off my eating schedule. As I result, I sometimes find myself overeating to compensate as my whole body is demanding food. I've started holding back from eating my lunchtime apple until 3 to help with that, but even then I'm blowing it. I'm getting a pastry every day it seems, and not just my morning muffin. I've missed the gym more in the month of Feb then I did the entire 6 months before that.

I'm out of balance.

Even though I can't do anything out the required work effort this week, I'm going to focus myself on getting back into balance. If not physically, at least mentally. I've recognized the failure of February, and I'm determined not to allow it to repeat in March.



Twice the Man said...

Good job reallizing its time to be accountable for loses that don't meet your standards. To many of us are too easy on ourselves for too long. Yep, you have done great, but yep your not doing enough to get where you want when you want to --- you can still get there if you keep kicking yourself in the arse time to time. Looks like you identified a good time to kick. Here's to a great March.

BTW, maybe this will motivate you some. I am only about 12 pounds more then you now and plan to end March at about or below your weight, so you don't want me to pass you up to do?

Ripx180 said...

I hear you on the balance. being 34 and trying to loose weight for the majority of my adult life I realize there are good times and bad times. That things go in cycles. Of course I would like to break the cycle and just be fit forever. I have even noticed the cycles in my super fit friends. They go gung ho for a couple months then slack off for while and get back at it again. The difference between them and me is they never really get fat. I guess I don't really know what I am trying to say lol ;). In a nutshell Get your balance back before you loose any ground. I realize you feel like you lost a month... been there done that. Now is now and the only thing you can change is the present and future so you know what to do.

Roder said...

@Twice - Twelve pounds?!?!? Sonofa... I really *do* need to get my ass in gear!

Carlos said...

as mr miyagi advised a young ralph macchio "you must have balance, Daniel-san"

May said...

My first time at your blog and I love that you used the word "bupkis" lol. Anyways, its a struggle to lose the first pounds but once you get going, it gets easier and you begin to love the scale! Keep blogging, I love it!

Lyn said...

Balance is a really tough thing to master. You're doing better than I have! But I know it's stressful to feel out of balance. I hope your work stress goes away soon and you start feeling better.

Where I've Been and Where I'm Going