Still making it happen

Last night I got to the gym and was able to get some deadlifts, rows and squats in, then I ran for 30 minutes on the elliptical. I was soaking wet when finished!

While running I watched Throwdown with Bobby Flay from Food Network. He and a family from CA/NV were competing on omelets. They looked so delicious! I think I want to cook. Not professionally or anything, but it's an area that I'm really really bad at, and I think it might be kind of fun to be able to bust out a well-made omelet or some chicken or something. Man was that random.

286.0

Mornings are tough in the winter

My room is just so frozen in the morning, all I want to do is stay in bed. Ugh.

The last couple weeks I haven't been sleeping well, but it appears that that is over and done with, so yay. I love being able to easily sleep!

Last night I had a great day of counting calories and getting to the gym. The work continues (as does the daily postings, even if they're a bit crappy at the moment).

287.6

Tuesday, Frozen Tuesday

Last night when I finally got home (thanks snow, it took 2 hours to get home last night), I immediately hopped on the scale. I was excited to see how drinking water all day, having a small breakfast and a salad for lunch would be reflected on the scale, especially as I'd spiked back up to 290 yesterday morning. Well shit -- the scale read 291.6 when I stepped onto it. Frowny-face.

I continued to hit the gym (though I should admit that while I did go Sunday night, it was a poor effort) last night, and did some lifting (squats, rows, dumbell presses), then did 30 minutes on the elliptical, going up from lvl12 to lvl13.

This morning I'm down again. I need to continue to fall, then to maintain through the weekend if I'm to hit my goal of being in the 270s come February 1st.

288.6

New Year's Hangover Holdover

One thing I clearly forgot in this weight-loss effort is what weekends and special days do to the program. (Speaking of programs, remember when that's what computers ran? When did they become apps? I blame Apple.) This past was a triple-doozy: New Year's Eve, full of a nice dinner and cocktails and homemade carmel corn, the fiancee's birthday on New Year's Day with a pizza dinner, cake and more cocktails, and the general weekend malaise, which included a trip to Chipotle for dinner last night.

I woke up bloated and hungry.

I'm working hard to repair the damage. I think it's time to formulate a goal to work towards. I've decided that what I'd like to do is drop between 10 and 15 pounds this January. Ideally I'll be out of the 280s and somewhere in the high to mid 270s. That's the short-term goal I'm aiming for, and I think that while the first key is solid weeks and the second key is consistent gym time, the third key will be strong weekends. It's something I've never been much good at, but now it's an actual impediment.

290.0

Still making it happen

Okay, so it's now Thursday of week one. I'm going very strong! I've completely cut out my sodas and it's been all water, all the time.

When I got home from Texas after Xmas, I stepped on the scale and saw 292.4 and if I hadn't just evacuated my bowels I would have shit my pants. So close to 300 again! Fucking misery.

Today I weighed in at 286.6, which while still extremely high is at least giving me some early positives regarding my drink and food choices, as well as a nice reward for 30 minutes at the gym both nights.

I'm getting married in the new year. The official date is October 1, which gives me 9 months to go to get down. I'd love to be 215 for the wedding. That's still a bit high for me, but it's also a totally obtainable goal. It'll be nice to honeymoon somewhere warm without worrying about my bathing suit.

My lowest weight before I sort of slid away from this was 247, so it's still lots and lots of work to get there, but I'm committed. Committed in a way that I haven't been in a long time. I feel it, and I'm excited to feel it again.

286.6

Wednesday

Well, the caffeine headache has already subsided. I'm thrilled. Last night I made it to the gym after work and put in 30 minutes on the elliptical (hello again old friend). I feel that it would be worth it to discuss the whys of dropping out of my exercise routine, though at the moment I don't think I'm prepared for the level of introspection. I'm more focused on just getting the weight loss process restarted right now, you know? But I do think that I owe it to myself to delve deeper.

288.1

Ugh, my head...

It's now 8:22 PM and I haven't had a bit of caffeine yet today. My head! Ugh. There's this headache that's just sitting right in the middle of it, pulsing slowly.

I've come in today at 1725 calories. I think that somewhere between 1600 and 1800 seems "right" for me, though getting my body used to that will be a bit tough I'm afraid.

Tomorrow I should be headed to the gym. I'm looking into a couple weight training routines. I think deadlifts, squats and bench presses will be the focus as they're the best for adding big chunks of muscle. I'm not looking to be slim, I'd like to have a bit of an athletic build.

I'm yawning quite a bit. Not sure if it's due to yesterday's travel (and the week of Xmas in TX), or the caloric reduction. Stay tuned and we'll investigate if I stay tired or if I rebound.

Time to Start it Up?

What an amazing learning experience this last year has been. I could get into lots of thoughts, but the one I'm choosing to focus on right now is that when I'm not accountable, I don't win.

I haven't been writing in a year, and in that year I've now put back on 40 lbs. Forty.

HOLY SHIT.

So it's time to get back to work. Lifting and posting. Maybe everyday.

Here we go.

290.2

Time to shut it down?

This weekend I mentioned that I was considering scrapping this blog to The Gal. Not that I was looking to scrap my workouts or anything like that, but the reality is that I used to write more personal entries here and I don't any more. These entries now tend to just be a quickie update. No thought, no effort. Not a real "journal" as it used to be. The thing is, she reads it, my parents read it, friends read it... I don't feel like I can be totally honest here anymore, because rather than being an outlet for myself, this blog has instead turned into a bit of a fishbowl. I can't write about my failures as that now only sparks conversations or looks or even worse, my guilt projected onto these people.

I don't know. I think I may just start up a different blog under a different name or something, and get it back to being just my little thing. Not something that I want to share with my friends. Just something where I can get things out again, to not bottle up my thoughts and feelings, wary that some hyperbolic or silly statement will bring about cocked eyebrows.

I guess sometimes I feel like I let these people I interact with in real life into my personal thoughts, but that street doesn't run both ways. Bottom line: I don't write here anymore, even though I want to.

I won't be making a decision immediately; I'm going to spend a week or two ruminating over the idea of a change I guess. If I do turn this off, I'll certainly get back into contact with my blog pals - I'd feel bad to lose all these little relationships I've built over the past 18 months or so! Hmm...

In other news, I knocked out a great little lunch session today, getting 3 miles in 30 minutes under my feet. Tonight I'll be headed to martial arts as well, so I should be doing well.

My back is sore

Just got back from a nice run over my lunch break. Tonight I'll be heading to martial arts - this should be a great fitness day!

The Gal appears to want to get her fitness up too - looks like more healthy, home-cooked meals and the swapping of gym stories on the horizon. Not too sure what's motivated her to start going again, but I'm glad that we're sharing this, even if we're not doing it together. Makes it easier for both I think.

So I noticed an uptick in blogging from my peers right after the holidays, but it appears to be abating. I think it's time to go through the blogs I have listed over on the right and start to cull them. I collect weight-loss blogs to help inspire and motivate me, but the lion's share of them are now mothballed and they're inspiring very little on my end.