My 2nd Weigh-In, or maybe the 1st

I guess it's the second one at Weight Watchers -- my first came in at 301.6, though this is sort of my first post-intro weigh in, so maybe it's my first one. I feel like I'm making this harder than it needs to be. I'll go with 2nd.

Point being, I was down 3.5lbs since my first visit to WW. Not bad. I'm not sure what the variance is between my scale and theirs (except my birthday suit); I'll be honest, I was expecting 5 pounds. 3.5 is nice and all, but I can do better.

After that weigh-in, I then went to rendezvous with some friends for my bachelor party. I didn't do great, though rules were totally suspended that night so I guess it's sort of okay. Maybe? Not sure. I'm kind of making this up as I go.

I think I failed to mention my surgery. I had a visit to the lovely Mayo Clinic in beautiful downtown Rochester, MN. I won't bother with the details, but they worked on my exhaust vent and I can't do much running (or walking or sitting for that matter). So I'm looking forward to being whole again and getting out there for a light jog. Soon I hope!

If this is one day at a time, I'm going to be Snider

Or was it Schnider? I can't remember. Anyway, Thursday nights are my game nights, when I go hang out with friends and drink and eat to excess. Last night I managed to stay within my points (barely!) and as a reward, the scale gods have given me another 1lb loss. I'll take it, though I have to admit, I found myself thinking about points and calories and food and sandwiches and cocktails and soda and and and...

That's my biggest concern, and one of the truths I've discovered and wrestled with for several years: I will ALWAYS have to think about this stuff. Always. It'll never stop, because when I stop thinking about it, I stop being in control. I don't have an auto-pilot in my brain/body - or if I do, it's set to barrel-roll the plane before stalling it out and crashing into a mountain.

Think think think.

295.6

Looks like it's working, if ever so slightly

I'm now a week and a half through Weight Watchers. My official first weigh-in there was 301.6. Today, unofficially on my scale, I was 296.6, good for a 5lb loss. I wasn't able to go check in last weekend as I had out-of-town visitors (and because we went and got KFC for dinner -- explosion!). This weekend won't be any easier as my friends and I will be having fun during my bachelor party, and the weekend after that is the wedding and the weekend after that I'll be in frickin Jamaica!!!!

So we'll see how things work out. I'm not expecting huge success as this seems to be the worst time to join WW, yet there's also no time like the present, so I didn't want to delay. I'm tracking and thinking, and that's all for the good.

296.6

The more things don't change, the more they stay the same

Today I have engagement photos with the gal. I've known it was coming for some time, and lost no weight for it. In fact, I feel like sometimes I was eating out of spite for these pictures.

Last night I went to get an outfit for the photo session. I had to go to a Big and Tall shop. They never put their shit on sale, so I payed through the nose for an outfit I don't even like that much. Being fat is so limiting.

The gal has been on Weight Watchers for the past month and change. Apparently she'd gone to a dress fitting and things were tight. In the time she's been on the program, she's lost like 14 pounds. Amazing. So this morning I signed up for WW myself. I'm eager to go with her. To have an accountability partner. I work best with a buddy, so I'm thrilled she's going to come with me. Or more likely, she's probably thrilled I'm going to go with her.

299.9 (fuck me!)

Funny how fast I shit the bed

Three-oh-one and two workouts since my last post. There are lessons here. Use my failure and learn them.

Day... uh... Hmm.

So I was right -- I didn't work out on Thursday. Then Friday came and went. And Saturday. And Sunday. And until last night I didn't even think about my commitment to myself.

Not good.

I've also put on 5 pounds in 4 days. Water-weight? Probably. Had foods that were high in sodium. But damn.

So I keep blogging. Minimize the "time off" between posts. Become more consistent. Incrementally improve.

This is a process, I'm not a robot. But I can do better and need to gain stronger focus.

Day 4

Yesterday was going so well too. I'd had a shake for breakfast. A chicken salad wrap at lunch (and a cookie - suck it). Then on my way home, disaster. My rear tire literally shredded apart while I was doing 70mph on the highway. I got the car over and fished out the donut spare, installing it twice - did you know that you can put that SOB on backwards? Now you do, and as of last night, I learned it too.

Sitting along the highway, changing that tire twice, pouring sweat (getting those lugnuts really tight with my hands takes fucking effort kids) and covered in grease, I'd had it. I'm a long-distance commuter, and the days I go into the office I've got an 85 mile drive. I'd only gone 15 miles when the blowout occurred, and now it's already 7pm. I'm tired, hungry and pissed off. Not the best state of mind to make good decisions.

You know where this is going, right? Because I saw the blinking lights of a Subway, looking like an oasis in my time of need and I knew where it was going. 12" meatball, a pair of cookies and no workout when I got home at 8:15... I was over my plan by 590 calories and didn't go for my run or lift any weights. This morning I was up 2 pounds over yesterday. Of course I was. lol! Ah man...

I'm glad that I still recorded my calories and I'm glad I'm writing about it. Puts my actions into focus and not in denial. No workout planned for today, just drinking my water.

298.6

Day 3

I really wanted to get to the gym early this morning. Set the alarm for 5:15. Yeah... no chance. I'm just not a morning person. I can stay up until 5am as a late night, but I just can't get up at 5am to start my day.

Oh well, I'll just go after work tonight. As long as I go, right? I'll be back later to record my workout and my eating. Tomorrow I'm planning on a no-workout day, so I won't worry that I won't be at the gym - it's not a skip, it's a planned miss, as all Thursdays will be for me.

296.8

Day 2

I'm so glad I went to the gym last night. Not because I had a great workout - I didn't. I actually only lasted 20 minutes and changes on the elliptical. I make no excuses for not getting the regular 45 minutes knocked out, but clearly workouts at 11pm are not when I'm full of energy. But I'm glad I went, just to work on forming that habit. To not allow myself to slip.

Today I'm working on counting my calories. I'd like to get to 1600 calories a day, though rather than dive into it in one day, I'm going to step down slowly, over the course of a week. To achieve this, I'm going to pick up some meal replacement shakes. I'm also going to track calories daily.

For breakfast today, I went to Caribou Coffee (it's like Starbucks for those of you not in the midwest) where I used more of a gift-card that FutureInLaws gave me. One medium Mint Condition with skim milk and white chocolate and one apple fritter. Hitting the nutrition link on the site and plugging in the values of my breakfast, I see that I'm already at 1030. Yikes.

That means I'm going to have a 600-700 calorie lunch, then have a protein shake for dinner. Plan the work, then work the plan.

I'm feeling good right now. In control. It's nice.

297.9

Edit @ 8:35pm
Just got back from the gym, where I did 45 minutes on the elliptical, got 3.89 miles on lvl 13 and I feel solid. I stopped off at GNC prior to the run for supplies, and just had my final meal, a meal replacement shake.

I tracked all my calories for the day and came in at 2189. Imagine if I had my typical 1000+ calorie dinner! Jesus. Step one, track. Step two, look for places to eliminate: coffee/pastery in the morning. I'll need to swap that for some fruit and water, maybe a diet soda for caffeine until I ween myself off that (yeah right).

Anyway, short-term this is starting to come together.

One More Time

I've got that song by Daft Punk in my head.

Well, today marks the two-month countdown until my wedding. Scary. Especially as I weighed in and was at 299 and change this morning. But not three bills (like it matters, I've already seen it previous weeks).

For whatever reason, I haven't been able to get my shit together. So now I have to sprint on this marathon instead of grinding it out. What does that mean? Not sure exactly. Hit the gym on the daily. Of course, it's already 10pm and I've yet to go. Shit.

I do like pressure. I can't ever manufacture it. I always know real from fake, you know? Can't hype myself up. I understand why athletes like having 'bulletin board material', as it makes getting hyped up easier. That external pressure.

Anyway, I'd like to dump thirty in two months. Is that even possible? No clue. But if it *is* going to happen, then I need to be doing everything in my power. Running. Lifting weight. Eating well. And blogging.

Whether I lose weight or not, the wedding is coming. I'd like to enjoy the shit out of it, you know?

By the way, FutureWife and I had our first dance lesson tonight. It was okay (though I was irritated that the class instructor insisted on the women switching every dance step -- too many partnerless ladies show up, and with only three lessons left in the package we bought, is it rude of me to want to practice with FutureWife exclusively?

By the way-way, I sweat like a sonofabitch during dancing. Dancing y'all.


edit at 11:27pm
why yes, I did just get home from the gym. Sprint, bitches.