Not too sure what's going on this week. After last week's 4.5 pound loss, I'm sitting here on Thursday with nothing to show for this week. I had the slight uptick on Monday from the weekend, Tuesday had me at 265.3, yesterday I again clocked in at 265.3, and today I'm at 265.6.
I woke up tired this morning. I'd gone to bed at 10 and woke up at 6, scoring a full eight hours of sleep, but I'm still tired. My face is puffy too. I'm trying to run down the week and figure out my problem, but so far nothing. The only thing is that the other night I had to work late. I didn't get my normal 5:30 dinner, it had to wait until 8:30. I don't much care for eating that late, and to make that matter worse, because I was coming home from work so late I just stopped at McDonalds. I didn't go crazy - two cheeseburgers for $2.14 is all I got, then cracked a bottle of water with it when I got home, so I should have been okay. Actually, it was kind of funny; I'm sitting at home about 20 minutes after eating dinner and I'm suddenly struck in my guts - hard. I literally doubled-over and was clutching my stomach from the pain. I *ran* to the bathroom, and sat down. This happened twice more that night, and then the next morning I was woken up at 5am with a big-time need to go sit again! My apologies for the subject matter, but I think that it's so interesting. Here's a guy who 6 months ago was regularly eating McDonalds for dinner, and now two little cheeseburgers leave him doubled over and shitting for the night! lol... you know how I know I'm going to be thin? I literally can't eat that terrible food anymore. My body just rejects it.
What the hell was I rambling about? Oh yes... this week sucks ass for actual weight-loss scale numbers. I'm trying hard not to allow the scale to decide my happiness for the day, and for the most part I think I'm somewhat successful with that, but when we're on Day 4 and I feel like I'm doing my part of the work and I'm just not getting my results... And that's what it really comes down to. I'm working hard, but I'm not getting those instantly gratifying results. Bah.
In other news, I am seeing a huge difference in the mirror. My body has begun to resemble the beginnings of a sculptor's next piece. I appear to have clay shapes sort of slapped on to me in different areas - my shoulders, my biceps, my forearms, my chest... I can see changes there. I can see how my forearm looks in the mirror, and even when I'm not flexing it how there's now a little line of muscle that's poking out. When I splay my fingers open, then the forearm changes, and when I ball my hand into a fist and flex, it changes again. My calves are experiencing a similar phenomena - there's a nice, heart-shaped bunch of muscle at the top, and then long, lean muscle running up from my ankle. Again, the closer you get to the stomach the less you can see of the muscle, until you're greeted by my rather large gut, but still... changes are there.
Last Friday I wrote, "Things are good and I'm feeling awesome. I wish I could bottle what I'm feeling right now and drink it when I'm down." I'd like to pull a bottle of Last Friday off the shelf right now and take a big swig, maybe get moving in the right direction again. I am however comforted in the fact that this is a long, long journey and frankly any story worth telling has to have the hero trip up and fall along the way to make the success that much better, and that I'm still doing what I need to do in terms of my diet and exercise, so in the end I know that my long-term consistency will win out over my short-term stumbles.