Thursday, February 12, 2009

Midweek Blues

Not too sure what's going on this week. After last week's 4.5 pound loss, I'm sitting here on Thursday with nothing to show for this week. I had the slight uptick on Monday from the weekend, Tuesday had me at 265.3, yesterday I again clocked in at 265.3, and today I'm at 265.6.

I woke up tired this morning. I'd gone to bed at 10 and woke up at 6, scoring a full eight hours of sleep, but I'm still tired. My face is puffy too. I'm trying to run down the week and figure out my problem, but so far nothing. The only thing is that the other night I had to work late. I didn't get my normal 5:30 dinner, it had to wait until 8:30. I don't much care for eating that late, and to make that matter worse, because I was coming home from work so late I just stopped at McDonalds. I didn't go crazy - two cheeseburgers for $2.14 is all I got, then cracked a bottle of water with it when I got home, so I should have been okay. Actually, it was kind of funny; I'm sitting at home about 20 minutes after eating dinner and I'm suddenly struck in my guts - hard. I literally doubled-over and was clutching my stomach from the pain. I *ran* to the bathroom, and sat down. This happened twice more that night, and then the next morning I was woken up at 5am with a big-time need to go sit again! My apologies for the subject matter, but I think that it's so interesting. Here's a guy who 6 months ago was regularly eating McDonalds for dinner, and now two little cheeseburgers leave him doubled over and shitting for the night! lol... you know how I know I'm going to be thin? I literally can't eat that terrible food anymore. My body just rejects it.

What the hell was I rambling about? Oh yes... this week sucks ass for actual weight-loss scale numbers. I'm trying hard not to allow the scale to decide my happiness for the day, and for the most part I think I'm somewhat successful with that, but when we're on Day 4 and I feel like I'm doing my part of the work and I'm just not getting my results... And that's what it really comes down to. I'm working hard, but I'm not getting those instantly gratifying results. Bah.

In other news, I am seeing a huge difference in the mirror. My body has begun to resemble the beginnings of a sculptor's next piece. I appear to have clay shapes sort of slapped on to me in different areas - my shoulders, my biceps, my forearms, my chest... I can see changes there. I can see how my forearm looks in the mirror, and even when I'm not flexing it how there's now a little line of muscle that's poking out. When I splay my fingers open, then the forearm changes, and when I ball my hand into a fist and flex, it changes again. My calves are experiencing a similar phenomena - there's a nice, heart-shaped bunch of muscle at the top, and then long, lean muscle running up from my ankle. Again, the closer you get to the stomach the less you can see of the muscle, until you're greeted by my rather large gut, but still... changes are there.

Last Friday I wrote, "Things are good and I'm feeling awesome. I wish I could bottle what I'm feeling right now and drink it when I'm down." I'd like to pull a bottle of Last Friday off the shelf right now and take a big swig, maybe get moving in the right direction again. I am however comforted in the fact that this is a long, long journey and frankly any story worth telling has to have the hero trip up and fall along the way to make the success that much better, and that I'm still doing what I need to do in terms of my diet and exercise, so in the end I know that my long-term consistency will win out over my short-term stumbles.


Ron said...

The scale can very so much from day to day. Just keep at it... those numbers on the scale will come down. Congrats on the NSV's of noticing the shaping of your body! This coming week will be better!!!

Rebecca said...

You said it yourself...your body is changing shape. Even if the scale is not moving in the right direction your body shape is. I know I know the scale is the most important dictator for all of us but we all gotta remind each other that there are more measures of success.

After such a big loss last week, you body is just doing something different this week. One thing I am learning from weight loss is comes with so many lessons, doesn't it?

I know I will be reading that you had another big loss very soon! Chin up!

Dina said...

Just a thought, you could have gotten mild food poisoning from good ol Mickey D's....

Dancing Sweet Pea said...

Fast food does the exact same thing to me now! Funny how our bodies change like that!
Don't worry too much about the numbers on the scale this week -- you said yourself, you're noticing changes when you look in the mirror and that is just as important!

Natalie said...

I love this line - My body has begun to resemble the beginnings of a sculptor's next piece. that is so inspiring!

remember slow and steady wins the race.

Lady with a View said...

It seems like if you are going to create something as specific as the "LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS" (imagine big booming voice)...that it should flippin' WORK.

It seems so mathematically simple - burn more than you eat. Well..guess what...weight loss isn't always so mathematically accurate. I think "generally" this is true - but I'm not sure we all work the same way..and we definitely don't lose at the same rate. The accountant in me just screams at the injuustice of it all when I have weeks like you are having - because it just doesn't make sense. Things should add up. "Generally" true in accounting puts you in an orange jump suit. Crap..I've ranted...okay...I'm just saying..."LAWS" should not be "generally" true.

Ashley said...

Keep your chin up. Noticing the changes in our bodies is just as important (if not more) than the scale number.

I had to remind myself of that in my last post as well, so I feel your struggle.

Anonymous said...

Great job and keep up the good work. It must feel wonderful to look like a scuptures next piece

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