Wednesday, August 05, 2009

What up?

Not too sure what's going on recently. I feel like I've lost my focus. I'm still hitting the gym and going to fight club, but my weight isn't changing. My most recent weigh-in saw me at 252.0. I'm looking at guys like Stephen, who's now down 100 pounds, and Tyler, who's been doing this for less time than I have but started 10 pounds heavier and is now almost 20 pounds under my weight, and while I feel great for them, I'm a bit frustrated with myself.

I had started wearing a rubber band on my wrist over the last month as a little reminder to myself regarding what I want to do with the losing, but quickly lost interest in it as that type of totem. I haven't been recording calories. I've found myself having more regular soda, and having cookies at work or Dairy Queen during the evenings. The portion sizes on my dinner plate have also increased.

There was a post or a tweet or a facebook update or something from Tony, where he asked an interesting question. He asked if you would cheat on your spouse on Christmas. What about Thanksgiving? Would you have an affair, but only on Halloween? If you wouldn't cheat on your spouse on a holiday, why do you think it's okay to cheat on yourself? Why is it okay to cheat on your diet/lifestyle? I feel that while I haven't been going overboard on holidays per se, there *have* been some birthday celebrations where I've been having cake or weird, sugar-rich Snickers salad, or lots of mayo/butter/cheese... I haven't been having a total cheating orgy, but at the same time it's like every weekend I've been allowing myself to cheat. I need to get it under better control. It's like I'm accepting little hand jobs or blow jobs behind The Gal™ 's back - and since I'd never do that to her, why am I doing this to me?

Don't know. Not sure. But this morning I skipped coffee/muffin. I went for a banana and some water. I hope that by minimizing early carbs this morning, I won't be going loopy for them later as that seems to be a problem. I need to keep my focus and I need to lose more weight.

ps, my right knee was tweeked this morning when I woke up, for reasons unclear. After doing the hipsled at 430 pounds for 3 sets of 15 reps, it's currently killing me. I don't need an injury to screw with me.



Fat Daddy said...

Hang in there friend. I know you recognize the enormous progress you have made.

Tony is the iron man of our club. I envy him for his consistent will. He has earned it For most of us will power ebbs and flows. If you can hold your own and even make smaller progressions during the tought times, you will be ready to pounce when you feel that iron will return.

Tricia said...

It's good that you're recognizing the pattern now, when it's still controlable. It's so hard to get back into it once you're off for a while. Don't compare yourself to other dieters though! Everyone loses at their own pace. You know you're doing awesome, and that's all that matters.

Also, you're not dating your diet. Even though I read that post from Tony and agreed with the message, I think most of us are okay with our imperfections in this dieting game as long as we can reign it in right after. You're already aware of the problem and fixing it, so I think your diet's cool with the handjob. :)

jo said...

Don't compare yourself to others. Celebrate their losses, but analyze yourself on your own terms.

I started comparing myself to others as I wasn't losing as fast as I wanted to, and I got into some really, ugly negative thinking way too fast.

You know what to do!

Kimberly said...

I hear you. I recently volleyed back and forth with the same 15 pounds and it was frustrating me. I wasn't diving off the deep end, but I was certainly not on program. It was the indulgences that did it. Sometimes you have to just stop and return to the basics form whence you started to get back on track and kick the indulgences to the curb.

But stop comparing yourself to others. It does you no good and only serves to deprive you of motivation and confidence. We all are unique in our lives and in our struggle to lose the weight. You will get there. Just don't quit!

antgirl said...

Every person and every 'body' is different. You can not compare yourself to others. It serves no constructive purpose. [been there, done that]

Go at your own pace and with rules you can stick to. It may take you longer, but you will get down that road and then stay there. That's [staying there] is more important than speed.

Holding your own right now, is great. Maintaining is a victory in itself. People fail to see that. But, if you can hold and not gain, it really is a measure of success. When you're ready, you'll set new rules and get yourself going again.

Geoff said...

You might want to try a lower-carb approach to your diet, as it tends to reduce those sugar/starch cravings that plague many of us. I know that when I limit my carb sources to veggies, fruits, and a small amount of whole grains I feel much less desire to binge on sweets or chips. Just a thought from someone who's been doing this a while :)

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I think it's the cookies, breakfast muffin, regular soda, and too large portions that you're eating on a regular basis that is why your weight loss has stopped. A Thanksgiving feast or occasional birthday cake isn't the culprit here, just part of living (within reason). Exercise is great, but food matters a lot more for weight loss.

Carlos said...

hang in there... ps i would totally cheat on my wife at halloween, come on with all those slutty costumes out there... naughty nurses and vampires are the worst!

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