So I'm kind of an idiot from time to time.

Good God. Yesterday I start off so frickin' sweet. I'd reached my latest goal, I'd been open and totally honest with friends, and I was feeling so good. So what did I do? I gave myself a 'cheat' day. All the programs say it's okay. They all say to do it from time to time. Don't go overboard, but indulge a bit.

So I did.

For lunch I met up with some buddies of mine and went to get Chinese food. The place I go makes their portions so frigging huge! There's plenty for two in just one of the servings. But what did I do? Housed the whole thing, bonus eggroll and all the fried rice too. I'd swapped Mountain Dew for Diet Coke, though I'm not convinced that Diet pop actually curtails pounds. There's still something fishy there. But whatever. Then I had a cheese danish! And a 20oz Mountain Dew! Then a second Dew! Then a Kit-Kat! OMG!!! For dinner I reeled it back with a 350 calorie 6" sub on wheat with no mayo or oil or salt, along with a packet of sliced apples and a Coke Zero, then had 1.5 liters of water, but my lunchtime/snacktime damage had been done. This morning I'm 313.4 pounds. I know based on last week's "cheat day" that it'll drop off fast, but still. I'm an idiot. I need to remember, enjoy, don't indulge. And, if I find that I cannot just enjoy, then don't bother. Because I feel guilty eating it, then feel shitty for having eaten it, then feel like an idiot for the negative change on the scale.

Cheat days are overrated. And I'm kind of an idiot from time to time.

another day on the farm

Went to bed at 10 last night. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Funny, I used to stay up until 1 or 2, but now... I just don't feel good when I do. Of course, the alarm at 6:15 doesn't help me staying up late, but still. Though for the past three weeks I'm restless and wake up at some point during the night, look at the clock, then roll back over and zonk out again. Not too sure what's up with that, but I've always been a heavy sleeper, and I don't like this new wrinkle. (I think it's work-related stress).

315 today. Just about have that terrible Saturday behind me. Thank God. I need to choose better alternatives on the weekends. It's always been such a problem, but now it's just a straight-up issue. So I'll mark that on my calendar for this week and let you know on Monday how it goes.

Had a big back day today, complete with the t-bar rows. They're so tough! But I'm feeling good, so yay me. And I think that's it from St. Paul, MN. Not too exciting, but such is my life.

What the shit.

So wow. Last night, after admittedly not having the best weekend in terms of weight loss/eating, I stepped on the scale. 314? No. 315?Not quite. I could do this dumb game all post, but reading 10 of those things would get about as lame as typing them. Nope, I was at a less-than-svelte 324. What the shit? Saturday I road-tripped up to Duluth, MN. For breakfast I had two McGriddle sandwiches, a hashbrown, and a Diet Coke. For lunch, some crappy Chinese food from Shanghi Express (avoid if you're in the area). For dinner? Two Diet Cokes and a uh... full 12" pizza. Ohmygod! I don't know what happened! Well, I guess I do - that happened.

By this morning I'd somehow slept off 5 pounds and was back at 319, but c'mon man. Clearly I didn't injest 35,000 calories in one day (I swear!), so I'm guessing that the McGriddles, Chinese and pizza were all loaded with sodium and I'm retaining liquids something fierce. At least, that's my hope. Because seriously, anything more than a one or two pound gain? In one day? Give me a break.

Anyway, big shoulder workout today, and I'm feeling good. I need to do laundry tonight, I've run out of t-shirts.